I Am Azad.

 Yes, Happy Independence Day to all of you suckers who choose to be fooled over being informed and questioning. To you, living a lie being fed to you by television is an easier escape route and the problem is you don't even know it. And you don't bother to know. You degenerate, rotten scum of a human... Me? Well, 'the struggle to free myself of constraints, becomes my very shackles'. (Yes, that was Meshuggah, but i can relate.) Today, I'm posting here after quite a while, a year older, a year wiser. Because today, is quite a special day, ain't it?

 People are weird. They are also pretty stupid. But more importantly, weird. A man with a park bench in his living room, stolen(?) in the middle of the night to provide for fancy seating at home, must be a whole new type of weird, one would say. But the man is probably the most awesome guy i've ever met. Bald, kind and naive upto an extent while within, functioned the brain of a genius. Curious, Observant, Rampant. Colourful, Creative, Chaotic. Yet, all i knew of the man was his address and a rather interesting alias. Iam Azad.

 And Azad he was. Azad from societal expectations and boundaries, from the circles of pointless routines, from the system of make-believe needs and force-fed thought. He wrote. Therefore he was. I have met him only twice. Nor have i spoken to him for more than a few minutes. And yet, what i owe Azad, is way too much to sound believable. Starting from the name of this very blog, to the sight which brought me to the point of looking beyond the realms of the redundancy of my own pathetic life. From him i learn the most valuable lesson- to never regret being a wannabe, to never shy away from being a noob, to question, and not care for what anyone may say.

 To the bald guy who is just as kind through the toughest of times as he is in the happiest, i want to say- Yes Azad, we do live to fight another day. And to you, i express my gratitude for having taught me the right way of holding a glass of 'cutting'.

 Perhaps it's true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcomes of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours must be preserved. Accounted for. 

P.S.- Azad said, "I'm glad you chose sideflipthe. Somehow, people don't really get the true power of it. Too subtle, i guess."

Bleed.

 After all has been said and done, after the dust has settled, there remains but a bunch of vague questions, mysteries to be precise, the answers to which have always been precariously positioned just a strand of hair beyond the horizon. The closer mankind thinks it is getting, the truth always manages to elude it's reach. So, in countless ways, human lifetimes are like desserts which stretch away into oblivion on all sides while man is left standing practically, in the middle of nowhere. An arid, homogenous expanse on all sides. Not a being, not an organism, not a sign of life in sight. No landmark, no street-signs, no compass. No clothes to shield you from the nothingness all around. 

 

Where do you head now? More importantly, why are you here? What are you here for? A reasonably accurate picturisation of the above scenario in one's mind would, i think, suffice to make one begin to realise the power of the landslide of chaos within every inch of one's being. 

 We may therefore infer, that complete absence of a bias towards any path or direction to be chosen among the innumerable others and a lack of sense of direction ushers in such chaos, that the mind is clouded upto an extent, where to make sense out of the scenario becomes a highly impossible task. Hence, where we are headed, what we are looking for and which way we choose is a decision which the human mind shall never be able to make without the influence of external factors. This is but a different version of what the first line of the sixth grade 'Civics' text-book told us- "Man is a social animal".

 The society, the collective conscience of all humans, in a course of time, comes to a consensus upon what is the best path to be taken. Morality and ethics, are guidelines, laid down by the collective, based on what they do and do not consider virtuous and malicious. Every individual being who is part of the collective is to abide by them without questioning them.

 The dumbing down of the masses is what they would refer to, in Economics, as 'The Bandwagon Effect''. The social phenomena on the occurrence of which leads to a sudden surge in the market demand of a product. The demand for a product by one consumer is fueled by the consumption of the product by another consumer which triggers a chain reaction known as the Bandwagon Effect. Astounding, since nobody really pauses to think whether the product really yields any utility to them at all.

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is? 
Narrator: It's a comforter... 
Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then? 
Narrator: ...Consumers? 
Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession. 

 Somewhere, along the corridors of time, the masses lose, or rather relinquish their autonomy on the thought process. Free thought is curbed and the path endorsed by the collective is accepted without much consideration. With the passing of time, the crowded path becomes more and more frequently trodden upon and the alternative options become invisible. The chaos in the minds of the collective is replaced with a sense of direction, as their vision is restricted and a sense of assurance that they are headed towards the truth and are on the right path comforted by the company of millions of others. The mind finds peace and contentment with this assurance. That what appears to be the 'truth', the meaning to life, may only be a mirage, or worse still, may not exist at all, is an invisible contingency to them.

 What they always seem to forget is- 'Because everyone does it' may , at times, be a good enough reason to refrain from something but should never be a good enough reason to indulge. That the path endorsed by the collective, results in the formation of the 'system'. The system we all bitch about, but never dare to look beyond. The system that we loathe and yet, succumb to. The morality and ethics imposed by the collective are not the Commandments of a creator and are neither right, nor wrong. The capability to distinguish between the two may not even be innate. It may not be in your genes, but just in your minds. The ethics are variable and just as vulnerable to change over a period of time as everything else. I mean, not even the most liberal of thinkers of the 19th century would have considered homosexuality to be ethical. Today, homosexuals are being embraced as naturally different and not terrifyingly psychotic. Another century down the line, Marijuana would probably be legalised in all parts of the world. Change, is a constant and the best way to live, is in limbo.

Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities — the political, the religious, the educational authorities — who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing — forming in our minds — their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself. - Timothy Leary.

P.S. I should really stop plagiarising stuff. But there is a perennial clutter of thoughts in my mind and i am not writer enough to write them down in a manner which is comprehensible.

More later.

Sumedh.

Run-Vijay, Run.

   Freedom is virtual. To a sound mind, this may sound strange. But again, a sound mind is only a prejudiced one in disguise. We exist in a world where freedom exists only in our thoughts. Where our choices are barely even ours. Where the difference between what we do and what we would want to do has reached heights so dizzying, that we have probably forgotten what we really wanted in the first place. Where Freedom of Thought is a luxury at hand but is hardly ever opted for. Where we do not have the right to decide what we would want to do with our lives without the consent of authorities, righteous men and parents who would take pleasure in dictating to us the terms of a life which isn't theirs. What is worse is the realisation that the righteous men upon whom the society bestows the right to declare what is morally correct or incorrect and are entrusted with showing the society the 'right' path have been shown the path themselves by other righteous men who were in turn shown the path to be taken by other righteous men..."Robots building robots to build a society". 

   In the whole process of transition of knowledge about Godliness and Ideals, Ethics and similar poop, people forgot to consider the difference between men who were self-righteous and men who were virtuous. People gave up on thinking with an open mind for the sake of bringing about Order in the society. Even today, people would rather retreat into traditions and orthodoxy than allow a state with absolute free will, i believe.

   We live in a country where the people are made to believe that the nation is on the threshold of becoming a super-power and is on it's way to becoming a dominant force in the world while the economic misery and social urgencies in the nation are more than apparent. They are in our faces. A major chunk of the age-distribution pyramid is occupied by the youth of the country. Youth, which is unaware of the importance of thinking critical. Youth, which wastes the most formative days of it's existence dazed by the glamour of the movies, the popularity of it's pop icons and the fame surrounding the millionaire football players. More intriguingly, youth which submits to the commands of an unworthy social structure.

   I can not stand the sight of a teenager who when asked what his dream job would be describes it as, "Dude, being a VJ at MTv would be awesome!" This, MTv generation as the group of retards is referred to is the best example of a single-lane, one-way traffic kind of stream of thought. The youth is actually taught to think in a way MTv wants them to think. These guys, as i see it, want two things- Easy fame and to be the easy money. The country has reached such a stage of cerebral degradation where MTv takes upon itself to give the youth a target personality in the sense that the teenagers are expected to ape the behaviour of this 'model personality'. What's more is, it actually works. For the youth, it then becomes imperative to do whatever their 'icon' does- wear similar clothes, adopt a similar hairdo, speak in a similar manner, even aim to land that job he has. And why work so hard? Because the higher the level of accuracy of your mirror image, the more likely you are to become a social success.

   This make believe system of social acceptance works in perfect harmony as almost everybody adheres to the same set of rules, aims at being the same person and is a by-product of the same cycle of social-constructivism. The relationship between MTv and the masses is thus symbiotic. Mtv needs dumbfucks to earn their profits. The dumbfucks need Mtv to tell them what to do. Mtv defines stylish clothes, it defines good music and also, upto an extent, defines the best body-type for young men and women which is most usually the unnatural anorexic kind.

   "But as my Algebra professor always reminded me, "Always account for variable change."" And herein lies the one loophole in this seemingly perfect system. Every once in a while, a young mind is bound to go astray. In the quest for an alternative option, an alternative set of rules, an alternative way of life. Music which is unheard of by most, literature which is beyond the comprehension of many, a general appreciation for all forms of Art is how the quest usually begins. And with the passage of time, the young mind brings about the formation of a counterculture, rejecting the basic format of a society, challenging the need for any rules whatsoever. This generation is bound to someday, usher in a new era- a revolution, a movement for change. It is bound to abide by just one rule- that of free will. For what we really need is not a change in the system, but a change in thought. A change in perception. What we need, is to Protest The Hero.

   

Now playing- Slipping into Coma (Raised Fist)

It's time to realize that our stay on this planet is just temporary.
Everyday we come closer to the end by bursting out in rivalry.
The tension, anger and anxiety puts a mental mark on us, don't you agree?
When we look up in the sky, 
Standing on our knees begging that the documentaries
On Discovery are just fucking lies on the TV screen.

People tell me to be less pessimistic, 
But I'm just trying real hard to be realistic.
I feel my anger rise as I'm witnessing
That people are slipping into coma.

People are spending dollars on water tapped in fancy bottles.
And don't you agree?
The gesture is not so much an act of stupidity.
It 's just a sign of our destructive mentality.
When we look into the pacific sea, 
And find a continent of plastic so unreal.
We know how to shrug it off our shoulders, 
What a fucking valuable ability.
Indeed the human race made it's mark, soon this will be over.
All of this provoked me into writing this piece, 
We must be slipping into a coma.

P.S.-Seema, i hope you get what i meant. And also, MTv is just a metaphor. What i am referring to is a whole scheme of factors and not just one music channel.

P.P.S- Also, i take offence when someone calls me a chauvinist. So you better stop doing that.

P.P.P.S- The write-up is kinda haphazard. But i couldn't care less. I just wanted to put my point through. I hope the purpose has been met. 

More later.

Sumedh.

I love Porcupine Tree.

 Pre-script: This is NOT a review. The writer does not understand too much of the technical aspect of music and may be wrong at some junctures during the course. In the occurrence of such an event, do leave a comment.

   Porcupine Tree.  Porcupine Tree is by far, the most astounding , awe-inspiring and unearthly music i have come across. Not once have heard any music by any artist as breathtakingly abstruse and original as that of this supernatural band called Porcupine Tree. Each day of my life is an ode to these Gods. My day starts with their music. It ends with theirs. And the remainder of the day revolves around that one piece of prodigious music that gets stuck in the head. That riff, that bass-line or a part of those mind-boggling lyrics.

   This piece of writing, i write as a mark of respect towards these supremely talented musicians. Porcupine Tree as a band, transcend everything. They transcend the petty boundaries of generic classification. They transcend the critical acclaim, the thousands (millions maybe) of fans around the world and surely this write-up. These musician surpass the stereotypical Rock/Metal-god image. For once, it is all about the music. Music which is serene. Divine.

   Art is considered by many as the ultimate form of God. These musicians are Artists of the highest caliber. Off the stage, they may appear to an outsider as nerdy middle-aged men. On the stage and in the studio, they weave magic that only the virtuous can. Proficient and accomplished to say the least, it takes only a few listens to their work to develop an adulation for them. And then it took me only a few more for my love towards them to turn into idolatry. If you do not feel the divine rush of fervor pass through your veins when they play, there is something wrong with you. 

   The level of drumming by The Gavin Harrison is par genius. Each time-signature, each beat, designed to inseminate the song with a soul of it's own. Wondrous bass-playing by Colin Edwin deserves a special mention. Not only does it coalesce with the lead guitar with superb ease, but more often than not, plays a powerful counter-melody. The keyboards handled by Richard Barbieri add to the ambient, sometimes psychedelic feel of the music. The guitar playing is magnificent to say the least. Steven Wilson is a maestro. Words escape me when i try to describe the musical ingenuity of this stalwart. The acoustic guitar is used widely in albums such as Lightbulb Sun and other earlier works to again, provide the ambient effect. The electric guitar too is played using a tone which is in no way oppressive upon the ears but melodious. The vocals are clean and ironically, trippy. 

   But what adds to the essence of their music is, according to me, the lyrics. Scarily truthful, sometimes metaphorical and more often than not, mysterious. These lyrics never fail to impregnate my mind with pervasive thoughts. These unearthly lyrics sometimes consume weeks to comprehend in totality.

   For me, life came a whole 360 degrees on the 21st of December 2009. At about 8.20 p.m. Porcupine Tree made their way to the stage after what seemed like an eternity to us fans. What ensued was 2 hours of Music. I am not using any adjectives to define the kind of music they played that night. The upper-case 'M' should suffice to point out that it was Holy. I remember each bit of my musical journey as i started discovering newer forms of Rock, then Metal and then a whole myriad of sub-genres. My first real gig was an alternative rock band named The Giraffes from Israel at IIT on the 26th of December 2008. Almost a year later, i experienced the divine Porcupine Tree experience.

   I love Porcupine Tree. I think i may have reached a point where it has become fairly difficult for me to survive a whole day without any 'ear orgasms'. For me, Porcupine Tree is sex. Do not think of it in a pejorative way. I mean in the way we experience the ultimate ecstasy. :)

Now Playing- So Called Friend.

Lip read, a mountain stream, fibres in the car

Shut down, a cheerless a town, a head rolls in the park

Once seen my libertine undresses in the dark

She puts her love inside to break us both apart

With you I felt brand new, you opened up the sky

What need to punish me with surgery and lies?

Sleep well my so called friend, a virus in your heart

She bends my so called friend and rips my life apart

In sound escape is found from carving out the day

My gift a weight that lifts, my eyes give me away

You tell me all the things you know

I want to hear

You stain the sub terrain

With sarin gas and fear

What kind of friend are you?

What kind of friend are you?

You're so cold

What kind of friend are you?

What kind of friend are you?

So Called Friend

I miss the holy bliss of sun across the bed

How sad that all my plans seem foolish now instead

More later.

Sumedh.

This is why i loathe theism.

Long gone are the days when I would question the ideologies imbibed within me. Those times have passed when my religious views had a certain level of ambiguity to them. When the indoctrination of the concept of a 'Creator' lost more and more ground, more and more rapidly to a want for logic, a need for reason. I am now, no longer 'Agnostic'. I am no longer 'Pagan'. I no longer question the authority of the Almighty, i reject it. I am an atheist. I no longer live my life in denial of a supernatural being but in conviction of his non-existence. And that makes the difference. The sanctity of atheism is way more blissful, way more euphoric and exuberant than the bonds of religion ever were. The thought that the absence of moral obligation and accountability to The One shall result to chaos which may result in the end of mankind has been established faulty.
Today, the thought of how organised religion has stood strong for thousands of years now, leaves me perplexed and thinking ever so often. I am always filled with awe and disgust at the realisation that human intelligence is bi-polar to say the least. Over the course of history, men with lofty ambitions of ruling over the world have assumed righteous positions assuring mankind of security, a safeguard against what man fears the most- the unknown, the uncertain, the unseen, the invisible. The future. And history has shown that irrespective of the might and strength that kings have employed in their quests, the globe still remains too large a territory to conquer in one lifetime.On the other hand, assume the position of the messenger of Divinity/ a messiah/ whatever, guarantee a VIP entry to heaven and people around the globe will conform to your commandments. And TADA! You rule! (quite literally). Organised religion is quite possibly is possibly the best run scam ever.
On the other hand, we have human ignorance, courtesy of which, logic and simple reason are defied/ raped and people waste Sunday mornings waking up early and getting all dressed up to attend mass. Seriously, had the Almighty even existed and had, going by popular belief created the entire Universe, do you think he would bother about petty things such as being worshiped by asswipes such as yourselves? I mean dude, he created the world! Get it? He doesnt care if someone like you worships him! Rather worship Steven Wilson now, eh? Atleast i've seen him with my own eyes once! XD
"For as long as there has been a God, there has been killing in his name."
-Dan Brown.
I find it hard to believe someone would be ignorant enough to have even a penny worth of faith in religion. Something, that has only divided people over the years, brought about some of the most brutal wars history has witnessed, created boundaries and is the sole factor/purpose behind terrorism over the world. Support religion and you support killing. Support religion and you are no better the politicians who would rather divide the country for their benefits than try to bring about peace. Support religion and you are blinded. Think for yourself. Refuse to conform.
P.S.: I do not mean to hurt sentiments, bla, bla, bla...
P.P.S.: This writeup was to also include my viewpoint on 'Militant Atheism'. But i kinda am not really a writer at heart. I have problem putting my thoughts down in words. So that woud take quite some time. But i do assure a post regarding that sometime in the future.
P.P.P.S.: The above writeup has been influenced by a lot of other articles that i have read that condemned the idea of religion, written by other atheists. And there might be similarities though i have made a conscious effort to refrain from plagiarism.

More later.
Sumedh.

  Okay, so this is one article that i wrote for fifthname that was supposed to be put up when the site would be upgraded to a Beta version. But that did not happen and i came across this article today while searching for some music on my PC. And i do feel this articles should be read by someone at least, not because it is awesome or something like that, but because it would then just be such a waste if it was meant to be read by people and read by nobody at all! And since this article is more than a month old, it might appear as if i have been reading newspapers dated a long while back. Just thought i would put it up here, on my blog since nobody really bothers reading it anyway.

__________________________________________________

                         Champions League status update.

  A day after Liverpool were muscled out of Group E of the Champions League by seemingly  harmless teams such as Lyon and Fiorentina FC, a friend of mine (not so much a Liverpool fan  apparently) updated his status on Facebook to this- "Q-What do Liverpool fans do when their  side wins the Champion Trophy? A- They turn off their Playstations and go to bed." I couldnt  agree more. 

  After having drawn 1-1 with Lyon away from home, Liverpool were only left hoping for divine  intervention as proceeding to the knockout stage now seemed an occurence over which they  had no control. Not only did they have to beat Debrecen away from home, which in itself  looked like an uphill task considering their ongoing poor run and the unconvincing 1-0 victory  against Debrecen at home, but also hope against odds that Lyon would resist defeat against  Fiorentina away from home. Not a very comfortable position to be in I tell yeh. Veteran  defender J.Carragher commented- "We always believe at this club, that we can do special  things."

  Nothing special happened this time though, as the Reds crashed out even after a 1-0 victory in  Hungary. Fiorentina's 1-0 win rendered Liverpool's useless. And the favour which Liverpool  expected from Lyon, wasn't granted. 

  This ouster in the early stages itself, implied multiple consequences with financial uneasiness  heading the list. Even as qualifying to the knockout stages of the Champions league boosted  Fiorentina's revenue by a whopping 25 million euros, Liverpool found themselves in a tight  spot. And the road to recovery isn't an easy one as Liverpool now focus on the secondary  trophy- the Europa League cup. They are also under pressure to raise the level of performance  in the Premier League if they are to qualify for the Champions League next season.

  The ouster was also followed by a lot of talk regarding the end of Benitez's reign as manager at  Anfield. These rumours, however were immediately put to rest. The loss was also followed by  much pointing of fingers towards the owners of the club and their apparent lack of concern  towards towards the current state of the most succesful English club in history. Accusations of  lack of financial support granted to Rafa were made too. In the midst of all this, captain Steve  Gerrard has admitted that each team gets what it deserves in the Champions League. And  Benitez claimed  that Liverpool could have made it to the next stage had Spaniard Torres not  been injured.

   With the 3 other English clubs of the top 4 making it to the knockout stages in a relatively  smooth fashion and this being Liverpool's first ouster at such an early stage of the tournament  since 2002, it definitely comes as a major blow to the club's standing. Also adding disgrace to  their dismal performance is the fact that none of the other 3 clubs present in Group E would  have been considered as a major threat to the Reds under different conditions. Also, the  number of goals scored by Liverpool in Group E matches is only equal to the number of goals  scored by Debrecen. All in all, they screwed up. Big time. Good luck with the Europa league,  suckers!

  P.S.- It was orgasmic watching ManUtd. lose to Besiktas at Old Trafford.

  P.P.S.- If you are a Liverpool supporter, you are probably fat, lonely and gay. No offence.

  P.P.P.S- If you think Arsenal is a great club, you are wrong. Period.

  

  More later.

  Sumedh.   

The change.

 Seema: You know Kd, a couple of years back, i was just like you. I used to dress the way you do  now, play soccer and hang out with the guys.

   Sumedh: So, why did you give that up?

   Seema: Well, i didn't give up everything! I still listen to metal, watch football and stuff. I just  gave up dressing like a guy because i realised being a girl is way more fun and most guys are  jerks anyway!

   Sumedh: No. I think you quit on all that stuff because you started feeling insecure about it.  It's a major personality killer. You fell prey to it.

   Seema: Insecure about what?

   Sumedh: Insecure about not being part of the mainstream. Insecure about being different  from the others around you. Insecure about actually being an 'individual' and not part of the  mass.

   "Why is it getting harder and harder to feel the joy of just being alive?"- Anon

   There exists a phase in the life of each individual when one is an adolescent. When one is torn  between what has been imbibed within his character and what the society has to say. Between  the indoctrination he undergoes for the few years that he is imbecile and between what is  expected of him from the people who know no better. It never ceases to set me off on a train of  thought, to understand and realise the numerous possibilities that could have been, had the  course of my life been just a little different. Sure we are bestowed with a family since birth. But  then, there is also the family that we choose for ourselves. We decide what we look up to and  yet we are completely powerless when it comes to shaping our own individuality. In other  words, we may choose our influences all we like, but what these influences inseminate within  our subconscious self, is completely out of our control. And although it may seem viable in the  present tense, it is, very often resentful at hindsight.

   Insecurity is most often the reason why people change i guess. I have nolong theory to rant  about. But more often than not, people believe that changing the way they are may make them  more acceptable to their peers than they already are. Paranoia, as someone once said, is a  completely natural state of  mind in today's world. And that, is a major reason why a huge  chunk of the mass feel uncomfortable with themselves, with who they are. When one feels the  need to change, it directly implies that the people around them find them unfit to be part of  'the cult'. Sure, people may talk about revolutions against the cult, their militancy towards the  mainstream and their hostility towards the idea of religion more often and more openly than  ever before. But, in reality they follow a thought process that makes them more acceptable and  in a way 'cooler' to their peers with a  similar outlook.

  @Seema: You changed for reasons i am not aware of and yet it is pretty evident that you made  the decision self-consciously. You felt it would make you a better person than you already are.  And that, is the single most deceptive and deceitful fallacy of 'the change'. It never makes you a  better person. It turns you into 'just another person'. YOU then start getting lost behind the  mask that you adopt and the individual within, ceases to surface. You are a wonderful person  the way you are, and a great friend. You never stopped listening to metal. You never stopped  being a football fanatic. This shows that it is within you to decide what you want to be. We are  always larger than our paranoia.

  Now playing: Porcupine Tree-Trains

Train set and match spied under the blind

Shiny and contoured the railway winds

And I've heard the sound from my cousin's bed

The hiss of the train at the railway head

Always the summers are slipping away

A 60 ton angel falls to the earth

A pile of old metal, a radiant blur

Scars in the country, the summer and her

Always the summers are slipping away

Find me a way for making it stay

When I hear the engine pass

I'm kissing you wide

The hissing subsides

I'm in luck

When the evening reaches here

You're tying me up

I'm dying of love

It's OK

 P.S.: The lyrics are for you, "Cma". :P I hope you forever regret not attending PT and not  having a 'limited edition tee'. :P

 P.P.S: And for the love of God, Man Utd. suck!

 P.P.P.s: You are just so, so awesome. Thank you for being a friend. :)

 More later.

 Sumedh.